Time….
So the saying goes….Time Heals All Wounds….
I guess that’s true.
But unfortunately there isn’t a manual that tells you exactly how long
it takes. Especially when your wounds
are emotional; and everyone is different.
It has been on month since Kelly has passed and I miss her more every
day. I am certainly not “healed” yet
from those wounds, nor did I expect to be.
And on some level never will be. The
past month has been a whirlwind of staying busy, spending time with the kids,
filling out legal paper work, staying busy….I know that I am not going to run
out of things to do, but I am going to run out of things that I want to
do. It’s been very difficult to find
motivation to do anything….
But, sometimes our choices are made for us. Thankfully I have two amazing and beautiful
children that keep me busy and take care of me.
However, I still need to provide for them and myself. I have had the studio closed since the end of
May this year….Not really the best way to run a business that is only in its 5th
year. But I have no doubt or regrets
because I know that my priorities were in the right place when I chose to spend
these past few precious months with Kelly and my family. And, through the help of many friends and
colleagues, I was able to still operate the studio on some level. I cannot thank the Wisconsin Professional
Photographers Association enough for the help and support they gave me and my
family!
I have chosen to spend the rest of the summer with my
children as we figure out what to do next.
They are both nervous/excited for school to start as am I. There are still so many things I need to
figure out as we move forward.
Schedules, practices, dinner, pick ups, drop offs, etc….But, the truth
is we have to move forward….not move on, but forward. I believe there is a big difference between
those two words. We could never move on
from Kelly or this past year’s ordeal…She is a part of us and forever will be. And this sucks! All of it!
I hate it….all of it! But, I take
my direction from her…
Kelly hated confrontation and didn’t like to argue and talk
about things that made her mad or upset.
She would process it, say her peace, and then let it go…Thereby ensuring
her a “win” in every disagreement….Talk about frustrating, but the great thing
about that is Kelly was rarely bothered by anything or anyone for very
long. I am learning to handle a lot of
situations more like that. Elizabeth is
so much like her it’s scary. She is so
reserved and processes things her own way and then moves forward, just like her
mom. Once she has made a decision to
move forward there is no need to revisit, dwell, or come back to an
uncomfortable situation, just like her mom.
She is wise beyond her years for sure.
I only hope that I can provide both of my kids the same sense of control
and confidence they have learned from their mom.
Moving forward….I can literally almost hear Kelly’s
sarcastic voice in my head (very much like on the days I would sleep in) saying
“are you going to go to work today or what?”
And she’s right. Not only do I
need to provide for my family, but we as a family have worked very hard over
the past 5 years to make our studio what it is.
We have been so very grateful and appreciative of everyone who has been
patient and understanding with all of this!
I wish I could have been able to provide everyone who wanted them with
portraits and service over these past few months. And, I will forever be in awe of how a community
will pull together to support a small local business and family! We could not have done this without all of
your love, prayers, kindness, and support!
I promise I will do my part to pay it forward and help out where ever I
can.
For those who are wondering, I plan to start operating the
studio again on a regular basis starting September 9th, 2013. Again, I can’t thank enough those who have
been patient and understanding. I don’t
know what the schedule will look like yet or how things will go. But I will do my best to accommodate everyone
as best I can. One of the things I would
like to do as my way of “giving back” is if you or your loved ones have been
affected by Cancer or some other life threatening illness/event and you would
like to have a beautiful portrait done to record this very important time in
your life, please contact the studio for a FREE portrait session and print size
of your choice (up to 16x20). I had to drag Kelly into the studio practically
kicking and screaming to get her “bald” pictures done. But, I told her two things: One, I’m not
letting her go through this with out getting photos, and Two, there’s now way I
would let her look bad.
So…time goes on for everybody. Even those affected by losing a loved one….Occasionally
time moves very fast (already one month!) but it also seems to crawl very
slowly. But, we are moving
forward….Right now I can honestly say for the most part the kids and I are
doing ok…some days/nights are better than others. I know emotions will come and go in waves,
they have already. I’m trying to figure
things out…I ask that my family and friends have patience with me as I’m not
sure what I’m doing most of the time. I
appreciate very much those who listen to me “ramble” as I am prone to do quite
often lately. And, again….Thank you
everyone for everything you have done and continue to do for our family! Including taking the time to read this!
Take care,
Mike
