Monday, August 26, 2013

Time



Time….
 
So the saying goes….Time Heals All Wounds….
 
I guess that’s true.  But unfortunately there isn’t a manual that tells you exactly how long it takes.  Especially when your wounds are emotional; and everyone is different.  It has been on month since Kelly has passed and I miss her more every day.  I am certainly not “healed” yet from those wounds, nor did I expect to be.  And on some level never will be.  The past month has been a whirlwind of staying busy, spending time with the kids, filling out legal paper work, staying busy….I know that I am not going to run out of things to do, but I am going to run out of things that I want to do.  It’s been very difficult to find motivation to do anything….
 
But, sometimes our choices are made for us.  Thankfully I have two amazing and beautiful children that keep me busy and take care of me.  However, I still need to provide for them and myself.  I have had the studio closed since the end of May this year….Not really the best way to run a business that is only in its 5th year.  But I have no doubt or regrets because I know that my priorities were in the right place when I chose to spend these past few precious months with Kelly and my family.  And, through the help of many friends and colleagues, I was able to still operate the studio on some level.  I cannot thank the Wisconsin Professional Photographers Association enough for the help and support they gave me and my family! 
 
I have chosen to spend the rest of the summer with my children as we figure out what to do next.  They are both nervous/excited for school to start as am I.  There are still so many things I need to figure out as we move forward.  Schedules, practices, dinner, pick ups, drop offs, etc….But, the truth is we have to move forward….not move on, but forward.  I believe there is a big difference between those two words.  We could never move on from Kelly or this past year’s ordeal…She is a part of us and forever will be.  And this sucks!  All of it!  I hate it….all of it!  But, I take my direction from her…
 
Kelly hated confrontation and didn’t like to argue and talk about things that made her mad or upset.  She would process it, say her peace, and then let it go…Thereby ensuring her a “win” in every disagreement….Talk about frustrating, but the great thing about that is Kelly was rarely bothered by anything or anyone for very long.  I am learning to handle a lot of situations more like that.  Elizabeth is so much like her it’s scary.  She is so reserved and processes things her own way and then moves forward, just like her mom.  Once she has made a decision to move forward there is no need to revisit, dwell, or come back to an uncomfortable situation, just like her mom.  She is wise beyond her years for sure.  I only hope that I can provide both of my kids the same sense of control and confidence they have learned from their mom.
 
Moving forward….I can literally almost hear Kelly’s sarcastic voice in my head (very much like on the days I would sleep in) saying “are you going to go to work today or what?”  And she’s right.  Not only do I need to provide for my family, but we as a family have worked very hard over the past 5 years to make our studio what it is.  We have been so very grateful and appreciative of everyone who has been patient and understanding with all of this!  I wish I could have been able to provide everyone who wanted them with portraits and service over these past few months.  And, I will forever be in awe of how a community will pull together to support a small local business and family!  We could not have done this without all of your love, prayers, kindness, and support!  I promise I will do my part to pay it forward and help out where ever I can.
 
For those who are wondering, I plan to start operating the studio again on a regular basis starting September 9th, 2013.  Again, I can’t thank enough those who have been patient and understanding.  I don’t know what the schedule will look like yet or how things will go.  But I will do my best to accommodate everyone as best I can.  One of the things I would like to do as my way of “giving back” is if you or your loved ones have been affected by Cancer or some other life threatening illness/event and you would like to have a beautiful portrait done to record this very important time in your life, please contact the studio for a FREE portrait session and print size of your choice (up to 16x20). I had to drag Kelly into the studio practically kicking and screaming to get her “bald” pictures done.  But, I told her two things: One, I’m not letting her go through this with out getting photos, and Two, there’s now way I would let her look bad. 
 
So…time goes on for everybody.  Even those affected by losing a loved one….Occasionally time moves very fast (already one month!) but it also seems to crawl very slowly.  But, we are moving forward….Right now I can honestly say for the most part the kids and I are doing ok…some days/nights are better than others.  I know emotions will come and go in waves, they have already.  I’m trying to figure things out…I ask that my family and friends have patience with me as I’m not sure what I’m doing most of the time.  I appreciate very much those who listen to me “ramble” as I am prone to do quite often lately.  And, again….Thank you everyone for everything you have done and continue to do for our family!  Including taking the time to read this!
 
Take care,
 
Mike

 

 

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